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I wonder how I’m going to appease my landlord

I haven’t been able to pay my rent. I forgot to lock my flat door today, so now he’s standing here in my flat and, of course, he wants his rent. There’s no way I can offer him cash right now. What on earth am I going to do? But I’m no fool, and I reckon I’ll offer him something completely different instead of cash – let’s see if he fancies it. He’ll hardly be able to turn down my suggestion. After all, I’ve noticed that he’s been arguing with his wife almost constantly of late. Surely he wouldn’t mind a bit of ‘relaxation’????.