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A completely inexperienced bookworm is seduced

I’ve been single for quite a while now and met a friend’s nephew at her birthday party. An 18-year-old virgin and a bookworm. I thought he was cute, so I pretended to be interested by saying I like reading too, and asked him to come round. The next day he turned up and I told him it was just an excuse and asked him if we fancied a shag. He just said that wasn’t possible because bird flu is a serious illness. ‘What??’ I said. ‘Shag,’ I told him, and he said ‘bird flu’. Oh dear.I just said that ‘having a go’ had nothing to do with bird flu and suggested we could ‘have a shag’. Then he told me that ‘having a shag’ wouldn’t be such a good idea because he didn’t want any trouble with the Road Traffic Authority. ‘Huh? Shagging, Road Traffic Authority?’ OK, one last try – I asked him if we wanted to have s*x. He just said it was 2 pm at the moment and he doesn’t sleep at that time of day. Well, he’s got absolutely no clue, and I’d had enough of his nonsense, so I took matters into my own hands and took care of his cock and my p***y. I reckon he’s living under a rock – oh man.